I think seeing someone you love getting hurt brings about a sense of frustration
as well because you feel so helpless. Getting hurt yourself is extremely
painful, but at least you can think it through and make yourself stronger
through it all. But seeing someone else hurt, there's nothing you can do to help
them unless they allow you to.
So, both the options you listed hurt an incredible amount, but seeing someone
you love get hurt is a little worse because you have to deal with other emotions
as well.
Ah, if only people wouldn't hurt others...but it's a bitter curse of this world
- that we keep hurting those closest to us and vice versa. But as long as we
learn from our mistakes we can grow from all the pain and prepare ourselves for
a better world. ^^
Thanks again for all the replies. Everything you guys have said makes perfect
sense, but putting it all into practice is a little harder. I have the tendency
to overthink things sometimes, and I'm afraid something I do or say may
jeopardize our friendship. But I guess there's no relationship without risks,
right? I'm just going to have to pray hard and push past my fears.
Thanks for all the replies, guys. It
makes me feel a little better that I'm not the only person in this sort of
situation.
Quote by "cifiryn"It's
not something you have to accomplish, is something that has te be natural and
from both sides.
I'm sure she wants to be your friend too, since you say she is a good listener
and you could share personal stuff with her. Someone that doesn't want you as a
friend wouldn't listen to your problems or care about your life
I totally agree that it should be natural, but I meant "accomplish" as
in ways to enforce the friendship.
As for her listening to me, I'm not sure if its because she wants to get closer
to me or if its just part of her beautiful personality. I think she's a good
listener by nature.
I feel a little strange asking for personal advice on a public forum (I'm not
even sure if it's appropriate here) but I'm really interested in everyone's
suggestions/opinions. So here goes:
My personality is such that I find it very hard to open up to people. As such,
it takes quite sometime for me to build a close friendship with someone. I can
make friends, but really close friends are a different matter. When I say
"close friend" I mean someone who you can not only have fun and feel
comfortable with, but also someone you can trust personal issues with, rely on
and love more than yourself. These types of friendships take a lot of effort and
time to build, but its always worth it in the end.
Anyway, for the first time in a long while, I've found someone who I've been
able to share a lot of personal issues with. I've known her for just under a
year, but it was only recently that I realized what a great listener she is. I
would really love to become closer friends with her. However, I have no idea how
to accomplish this with her! There are a number of things that make it more
difficult than normal:
1) I don't really have that many common interests with her (besides the generic
movies, friends, etc.). We share a common faith (I know her from church) but
that's about it.
2) She has a lot of friends already, and is a very busy girl (especially with
fulltime work).
3) I have no idea how she feels. We are friends for sure, but I don't know how
comfortable she feels with sharing stuff with me.
Taking all these factors into consideration, can anyone offer any advice on how
to successfully build a close female friendship? I don't want to push it, but
I'm afraid that if I don't do anything, our friendship won't grow at all. I feel
so frustrated and pained, because she really is a fantastic person in every
aspect.
Sorry for the ranting like a angsty youth (but that is what I am at times ), but
any advice or pearls of wisdom from those of you with more experience with this
kind of stuff would be much appreciated.
(Note: I am also female, so I'm not trying to court her or anything. I just want
to get to know her better as a friend).
Duff Beer
I think seeing someone you love getting hurt brings about a sense of frustration as well because you feel so helpless. Getting hurt yourself is extremely painful, but at least you can think it through and make yourself stronger through it all. But seeing someone else hurt, there's nothing you can do to help them unless they allow you to.
So, both the options you listed hurt an incredible amount, but seeing someone you love get hurt is a little worse because you have to deal with other emotions as well.
Ah, if only people wouldn't hurt others...but it's a bitter curse of this world - that we keep hurting those closest to us and vice versa. But as long as we learn from our mistakes we can grow from all the pain and prepare ourselves for a better world. ^^
In reality, angels are genderless... ^^
With regards to that anime, haven't seen it so can't comment.
Thanks again for all the replies. Everything you guys have said makes perfect sense, but putting it all into practice is a little harder. I have the tendency to overthink things sometimes, and I'm afraid something I do or say may jeopardize our friendship. But I guess there's no relationship without risks, right? I'm just going to have to pray hard and push past my fears.
Thanks for all the replies, guys.
It
makes me feel a little better that I'm not the only person in this sort of
situation.
I totally agree that it should be natural, but I meant "accomplish" as in ways to enforce the friendship.
As for her listening to me, I'm not sure if its because she wants to get closer to me or if its just part of her beautiful personality. I think she's a good listener by nature.
I feel a little strange asking for personal advice on a public forum (I'm not even sure if it's appropriate here) but I'm really interested in everyone's suggestions/opinions. So here goes:
My personality is such that I find it very hard to open up to people. As such, it takes quite sometime for me to build a close friendship with someone. I can make friends, but really close friends are a different matter. When I say "close friend" I mean someone who you can not only have fun and feel comfortable with, but also someone you can trust personal issues with, rely on and love more than yourself. These types of friendships take a lot of effort and time to build, but its always worth it in the end.
Anyway, for the first time in a long while, I've found someone who I've been able to share a lot of personal issues with. I've known her for just under a year, but it was only recently that I realized what a great listener she is. I would really love to become closer friends with her. However, I have no idea how to accomplish this with her! There are a number of things that make it more difficult than normal:
1) I don't really have that many common interests with her (besides the generic movies, friends, etc.). We share a common faith (I know her from church) but that's about it.
2) She has a lot of friends already, and is a very busy girl (especially with fulltime work).
3) I have no idea how she feels. We are friends for sure, but I don't know how comfortable she feels with sharing stuff with me.
Taking all these factors into consideration, can anyone offer any advice on how to successfully build a close female friendship? I don't want to push it, but I'm afraid that if I don't do anything, our friendship won't grow at all. I feel so frustrated and pained, because she really is a fantastic person in every aspect.
Sorry for the ranting like a angsty youth (but that is what I am at times ), but any advice or pearls of wisdom from those of you with more experience with this kind of stuff would be much appreciated.
(Note: I am also female, so I'm not trying to court her or anything. I just want to get to know her better as a friend).